One of the best pieces of advice I read once in a book was, “Let them tell you no”. At first, I thought this quote was to help with the sting of rejection. As I kept reading however, I realized it was about much more than that. Ever since then, I hear this in the back of my mind on many occasions and couldn’t be happier.
"Let them tell you no."
This quote really challenges the concept of self limitation. How many things in life do we miss out on because we told ourselves “no” before anyone else has? I know personally, I have done this SO many times. How many times did I not ask off work because I thought my boss would say no, or get irritated with me? How many times did I not ask for something that I wanted because I thought someone would tell me no or think negatively of me? SO. MANY.
I just experienced this the other week. This last year had been one of the hardest I have been through, so for my birthday I really wanted to make it special. I decided I was going to celebrate the strength I found in myself. I began planning all the things I wanted to do- get my hair done, maybe my nails, go out to a winery… then realized it falls on a Wednesday. Oof. So then I thought, well what if I ask off work for my birthday? I caught myself instantly responding with- “well you don’t really have a good reason to” and “your boss might be annoyed since you will be asking off next month as well”. Until I remembered this quote and said you know what- who cares! So I asked off for my birthday and even told my boss why, PLUS requested to work from home the next day. Guess what- she said yes, no problem!
My point is, we often talk ourselves of doing something that will make us happy out of the fear of someone saying no. Reality is, let them say no. Push and push until they say no. Want to take out a loan but don’t think the bank will give you the amount of money you want? Just take the chance and ask. You will be surprised at how many things people will say yes or agree too just because you asked.
This also applies to ideas or creative strategies in your career or marriage. Say you thought of a creative strategy at work, but are too scared to bring it up to your boss out of the fear they will say no and think it is a bad idea. So you don't bring it up and stay in the same position forever. But, what if you decided to just bring it up and instead you go on to get promoted or lead a team?
I believe that in many aspects of life we are pre-wired to assume the negative outcome as a method of protection. We believe that expecting or assuming the worst will "hurt" less when it doesn't happen. However, this is actually causing us to subconsciously shut ourselves down before we even try.
I challenge you to manage your mind with positivity up front. Use "Let them tell you no," as reason to take the risk. If they say no, you are not down anything. If they say yes, you are up more than you would have been if you didn't try. This concept is a mental management tool that increases self trust, opens opportunities, and changes your perspective to see the positive.
What is a situation that you have had where you "let them tell you no"? I would love to hear about it!
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